Jordan Peterson, Identity Politics, MGTOWs and the Rising Hate of Women

The personal finance killers: divorce, child support, alimony. #familyfinance #personalfinance #divorce #MGTOW #jordanpetersonYou were probably exposed to Jordan Peterson the same way I was: a viral YouTube video. Prior to Google determining my unknown interest in such a “Gotcha!” moment I was preaching some of the same material as it pertained to financial matters.

Once a taste was received I was primed for more material. Peterson has an addicting style of speaking and teaching. He thinks before speaking—something an unnamed blogger still needs to work on. The amount of material to watch is extensive. There is less reading material, but Peterson’s work is powerful and has the tendency to consume a day in thought.

Peterson is misunderstood, many times intentionally. YouTube thinks I might like other similar topics regarding identity politics and feminist bashing. I don’t. By the time my research expanded to MGTOWs (men going their own way), incels (involuntary celibates) and other narrowly defined groups, I grew more and more disturbed.

Most disturbing of all was that I agreed on some issues of these narrowly focused groups while categorically disagreeing with their mentality and overall philosophy. From what I gather, they harbor an intense hated or dislike for women. The misogyny takes the breath away. And the movements seem to keep growing. This is a serious societal problem.

It’s also a massive financial minefield. If you don’t think divorce, child support and alimony aren’t serious financial issues you need to review the world around you. Divorce can take half or more of your hard earned net worth. Child support payments are not deductible and divorces finalized after 2018 will find alimony payments non-deductible too. Men pay almost all child support and alimony payments and men also face a greater risk of losing their children in divorce. With these issues I agree. However, the MGTOW solution of a life devoid of intimacy is no solution at all. Treating women like a piece of meat doesn’t deserve any respect. Period.

The problems have grown acute in Western society. The line between intimacy and rape is blurred by the newscasts. (I am against all forms of violence against women. Don’t read this as a reluctance to protect women.) Men risk loss of freedom, property and future income when interpersonal relationships are involved. Roles have been reversed. Until the last 50 years or so, child birth was a serious risk. Women on average lived shorter lives than men due to death during child birth. Modern medicine has reduced this risk to background noise.

At the same time medicine reduced risk to pregnant women another development occurred: birth control. Birth control was sought after for eons. Ancient Romans and Greeks went to great lengths to enjoy sex and avoid pregnancy. By the 1960s medicine provided a reliable and safe way for women to take control of their reproductive choices.

Prior to the 1960s men had less risk. A man could deny involvement or disappear leaving the woman with a serious problem. Society judged women who had children outside marriage. Roles have reversed. DNA testing easily identifies the father of the child and society honors the strength of the single mother. Women have greater control over their reproductive choices and the medical risks of child birth no longer cause serious concerns.

Society has decided to reverse the risks and the consequences are growing. The stable structure of the family and marriage developed over vast periods of human history and worked extraordinarily well is being abandoned. The old system reduced violence (under the one man, one woman policy of marriage, it meant most men had female opportunity thus reducing violent tendencies), fostered community and provided a stable child rearing environment. But all wasn’t well. In many cultures men were deemed to own his wife and children. Women’s rights were muted, to say the least. Something had to change and it did.




Advice for Men, I Mean Women

A year before I ever heard of Jordan Peterson I was in Gainesville, Florida attending a small early retirement conference. I offered consulting sessions with all proceeds going to charity. (The National Special Olympics received the funds.) One of my consulting sessions was with a young female doctor. She amassed a sizable (seven figures) liquid net worth and was considering an interpersonal relationship, i.e. marriage. I quizzed her on her fiancé and quickly realized the advice she needed to hear: get a prenuptial agreement. Shortly afterwards I published on the topic.

She didn’t feel comfortable with my advice, but I convinced her of the importance of a prenuptial agreement in her situation. After her consulting session she joined the group back at the campfire while I started my next session.

The next morning I realized I caused a huge commotion. The lady I consulted took my advice to the group for their opinion. Opinions were strong on both sides, but it was eventually decided I was right. Whew!

I don’t want to make light of this important subject. Men with money are usually aware of gold diggers. Women who accumulate serious net worth aren’t always as cognizant of the male gold-diggers lurking about.

People reading this tend to be from the FIRE community. With a higher savings rate and net worth, these people need to take extra precautions. Not all women are gold diggers, but if you are a man with money, the gold diggers will be attracted to you. The opposite is just as true! Not all men are gold diggers, but women with money will attract the gold diggers.




Marriage Contract

Marriage is a legal contract between two people. You even go to the court house to get your document. There is nothing unromantic or disturbing about getting a marriage license so why are people so afraid, so offended by the requirement of a prenuptial agreement? Marriage is a wonderful institution. There should be societal and personal rules involved preserving the contract between the two parties.

Men avoid marriage today like the plague. The reasons are clear. Marriage is expensive and the “wife’s” day. Men come along for the ride. (This isn’t completely true, but women generally dictate how the wedding will be conducted.) This is NOT a bad thing! Historically marriage symbolized a bonding with intentions of bringing children into the world and as we’ve noted earlier, this was a risky proposition for the female. Also, marriage was the moment when the woman left her family to live with her husband. It was a major life event for the bride. Things have changed in recent times. Cohabiting prior to marriage is common. Child bearing has fewer medical risks.

Identity politics is killing your retirement. #retirementplanning #divorce #identitypolitics #familyvalues #retirement #jordanpetersonMen view marriage differently. They now have an obligation. They have a wife to support. Oh, wait. That was historically. Today women freely enter the work force (a good thing) and have a large range of opportunities (another good thing). In the past the man provided shelter and food for the family. A man knew his worth. He provided and found satisfaction in knowing he was a good head of the household. Today men don’t find that satisfaction as much. The wife can earn and support herself just fine with or without him. It’s no longer a need, but a convenience to keep the man around.

This sounds horrible when I say it the way I did. MGTOWs make great fanfare over this. “Women,” they say, “no longer respect a man’s role. Women take advantage of men and use men.” I think this is a massive oversimplification of the facts.

I’ve been married for over 30 years (to the same woman). While Mrs. Accountant could find a job and support herself, there is something more satisfying to all parties involved to work as equals. Mrs. A doesn’t have to worry about the breadwinner getting sick or dying; serious issues in times past. She can enter into contracts should I become incapacitated or unavailable. I don’t own her! We are a team!

The rules have changed, no doubt. Identity politics have taken over. We can get mad, pointing to people with different political views. That doesn’t help. It’s not their fault; yours either. Society has changed radically and we are still searching for our sea legs. Birth control gave women control of their reproduction. This is arguably one of the most, if not the most, radical event in human history. It upset several hundred thousand years of human societal evolution.

All is not lost; at least I don’t believe it is. My relationship with my wife is powerful and growing. I can’t imagine life without her. She is not one of the rare unicorns MGTOWs talk about. She is a normal woman who had the great misfortune of being noticed by a crazy accountant. Our secret is we talk, respect each other’s opinions and space, communicate constantly our thoughts and share quality intimate time together. In short, we are growing old together, experiencing all the joys of life with our best friend, each other. There is no room for politics of any kind and certainly no room for hating women for whatever imagined reason.

Still, the problems remain. Child support and alimony hit men disproportionately hard. Divorce is a financial body blow sure to wound the strongest of us. Women file for around 70% of divorces. Men are disproportionately separated from their children. The new world order makes this possible and seems to many men punitive for the crime of loving a woman.

It doesn’t have to be this way. We can wait for society to change—don’t hold your breath—or you can take positive steps to create equality in the relationship where all parties win, especially the children.

Romance is alive and well!




Solutions to the Intractable Problems

Jordan Peterson tells us about what makes us tick; what men women are attracted to. He rarely talks about the financial issues involved.

MGTOWs and similar designations men use to identify themselves are not helping. Quitting society is an unworkable solution. Men, as much as women, need intimacy. In some ways I’m more passionate than Mrs. Accountant. She has the romance parts locked, but I love snuggling in. Yes, guys need (NEED!) touch, too. This is more than sex. Sex is a fun guttural act designed by nature to be really fun so little humans can be produced. Nature also created us to respond positively to closeness and touch; something that can be engaged in for much longer periods of times. A hug should never be a crime because it is such a basic need of humanity. That is why you must hug your significant other and kids every day. It’s the most powerful act I can think of. I personally give my parents (yes, even Dad Accountant) a hug every time I see them. The day will come soon when that opportunity will be lost forever. I’m not wasting a single opportunity.

The rise of misogyny. Stop hating women. MGTOWs. #incel #MGTOW #interpersonalrelationships #familyandchildren #jordanpetersonMen must stop hating women! Misogyny is a vulgar display. Women are different from us, guys. I know. Different is good. (Actually, really, really good.) Women have a different worldview and biological history. The birth control pill doesn’t change millennia of evolution. It also takes time for society to adjust.

We can’t force society to change any faster. We can’t stop the craziness we see in the newsfeeds. The courts will continue to express bias against the men in child support and divorce proceedings.

The fear is real, guys. I understand. I’ve consulted with more clients on this than I care to count. If a guy cheats on his wife he ends up in divorce court and gets what he deserves. If the wife cheats, the guy ends up in divorce court and pays his wife (rewarding her) for her infidelity. Yes, I hear it all the time, but it doesn’t have to be this way. There is a better option.

I alluded to the solution about. Deciding to have children is different today. I hope we can agree on that much by now. Women (and men) have great control over reproductive choices which removes a lot of uncertainty in interpersonal relationships. This is a good thing. And as long as children can now be planned, doesn’t it make sense to lay down ground rules in advance? Deciding to have children is something men and women can both enjoy. Children are hard to raise while still such a joy to have. They are an endless blessing. If a prenuptial agreement can solve many problems before they occur, a child agreement—a legal and binding document—can protect both parents. Men (and women) no longer need to fear disenfranchisement from his children unless he poses harm to them.

A prenup might sound unromantic, but an agreement for having a child shouldn’t carry such weight. The act of creating the agreement will expose differences in child rearing ideology. Best to iron out those differences before a child is involved. Some of this can be handled in a prenuptial agreement. Each state is different so consult an attorney experienced in such matters.

Marriage is a contract and always has been. There is nothing wrong—and a lot right—with planning your marriage more than you plan the wedding. Remember, the wedding is a day; the marriage is a lifetime. A prenuptial agreement solves a lot of the problems MGTOWs complain about. A child agreement solves issues surrounding kids you have. No more blaming and hating women! My wife and daughters are awesome people. Never forget that.

Guys, women love a man with a plan. Coming to a relationship with an action plan is powerful. Women are still biologically wired to want a man who will support them. They tend to marry up. This is natural and normal due to historical standards. A plan can make you more desirable to women. And you have to put aside shyness and ask. If you see a woman you are interested in, ask her if she would like to join you for a cup of coffee. If she responds poorly you didn’t want to spend time with her anyway. There are lots of really good ladies out there. Really! Check out a Peterson video if you want to know and learn more of what women want.

Men, you should feel less stress about relationships! Not so long ago you carried a heavy burden. You worked the fields and mines (dangerous jobs) and if you got hurt or died your wife and children suffered horribly. Instead of the responsibility of carrying all the weight of supporting your family, you now have an equal, a partner. It’s better that way. Honest.

 

Note: If you haven’t read Jordan Peterson’s latest book you need to fix that ASAP. Normally I would say check it out at the library, but that isn’t good enough this time. Your copy of 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos will be more worn than an evangelical’s Bible. You’ll refer to it that much.

 

Note: I understand this is a difficult and contentious topic. These are serious money issues people need to consider. Some of my personal opinions and biases developed over my lifetime I’m sure slipped in even though I tried hard to keep opinion out. Please use this as a starting point to think about the subject matter. I empathize with men dealing with the host of issues; I also empathize with women trying to make their way in this world. Both genders are working hard to figure it out. No vicious attacks in the comments. You can disagree with me, but treat other commentators with respect. Thank you.

 

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Keith Taxguy

16 Comments

  1. SavvyFinancialLatina on July 16, 2018 at 9:03 am

    My thoughts:
    1) I for one am glad to live in this century. I have seen first hand what happens when women don’t have power in the relationship. If they have issues with their husbands, but cannot financially support themselves, they are unable to leave their husbands. It’s rather prevalent in low income Hispanic communities. I grew up in a household like this.

    2) I think it’s peculiar this rise of anti-woman. I mean if men cannot get a partner, maybe they should step up their game instead of blaming women? That’s a thought.

    3) The game has changed. Women have more power to choose and in some cases, you’re right, men are not necessary for the financial backing. I’m not with my husband because he’s going to financially support me (hmm I actually make a lot more than him). We’re together because we’re partners (emotional connection).

    4) I still see women wanting to be financially supported (women my age). I have a hard time understanding this due to my upbringing, but maybe it is the biological want.

    5) No prenup here. We were 21 when we got married and didn’t have much to our names.

    6) Divorce will suck. We’ve talked about this. Let’s leave emotion out of this comment. Financially, I would probably be the losing party. I’ve made 2-3X as much as my husband. This is not to downgrade my husband’s contribution, but it would suck to give up half of the assets when I know I’ve earned 2-3X of the net worth. Honestly, the best time to get a divorce for me was early on. Year 1? Every year, there is less financial reason to get a divorce…No secret here. We talk about it openly. My husband would be a winning party in the divorce.

    7) If I were to be in a situation where I’m single again (by divorce or through my husband’s death), I would not remarry. Financially, it wouldn’t be the right move.

    8) If I was single, made as much money as I make now with potential to make more, I would not get married without a prenup. Hell, I would hesitate to get married. Co-living together without commingling assets is fine by me. A marriage is a piece of paper anyways. Plus, I didn’t even have the “real wedding with the nice dress” at 21. Honestly, personally, don’t need it.

    • Keith Taxguy on July 16, 2018 at 9:41 am

      Powerful points, Savvy. When I read this to Mrs. Accountant she felt I did a good job outlining the issues and my modest solutions were a start in the right direction.

      Comments on your comments: 1.) You saw the results of life where women have no power. Men need to read the history books. Women did not have it good. 2.) Men should step up their game. It’s a lifelong effort to work as a team with your spouse. 4.) I could be wrong, but I also think biology and a long societal history causes women to respond as if they were little more than indentured servants. Women have more rights and it takes time for the female gender to adjust as much as the males. We just need to commit to growing together. 5.) Confession: I have no prenup either. It was a different time. Today I recommend a prenup to any client asking regardless the situation. It’s important. 6.) Talking is the important part. By talking about divorce openly you may learn you want to take a different path within the marriage. You never know. Communication is important. 7.) I’ve said the same thing often. A prenup would be an imperative.

      Best wishes, Savvy.

  2. Debt Free Dr. on July 16, 2018 at 9:13 am

    Hi Keith: Again, great post to get the pot stirred up. I also recently found Jordan Peterson on YouTube and have his latest book on the coffee table in the book “queue” to be read soon.

    If you look at most of the problems going on in the world today: kids shooting up schools, divorce, crime, etc. it seems like we as a society are doing this to ourselves.

    We are slowly taking God out of everything. We are taking Him out of schools, public places, heck, I can’t believe someone hasn’t taken Him off the dollar bill yet!

    We should reread our Constitution and take a look at what our “Founding Fathers” have to say about this subject.

    Regarding Marriage and other subjects. I use the Bible as my guide (even on money – Proverbs will teach us everything we need to know about finances).

    Marriage: Ephesians 5:25: “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”

    I hate that there are so many lost people in this world but maybe that’s why the world is the way it is now…..

    • Keith Taxguy on July 16, 2018 at 9:29 am

      Religion is a tough topic, Dr. I must confess my faith died a long time ago through a series of events. However, Peterson has me reexamining faith and God. I always agreed the Bible teaches serious lessons applicable in today’s world. Peterson has me looking at it differently which is drawing me back into faith. The original meaning gets lost in our modern world. Now that I’m understanding how the stories apply I’m deeply interested. Good points, Dr. As always, I’ll share as I evolve.

    • Katy on July 16, 2018 at 11:06 am

      I think part of this stems from the hyper competitive framing that we have been using for every issue. Everything is framed as a winner and loser, everything is a contest where someone comes out on top. I worry that the “gender wars” will be like two people in the deep end each trying to climb on the other to stay afloat and in the end everyone will drown.

      RE: Single motherhood, being a parent is hard I’m not sure that one gender of solo parent should get more support than another. I don’t think I’ve seen a single event for single dad’s but I’ve been to several for single moms. Also this whole cohabitating thing has greatly confused the issue. Being legally single but living with your child’s parent or someone acting as a parent is a vastly different situation than a single adult household with child(ren). I’m firmly convinced that the reason that it takes two to make a baby is because it takes at least that many to raise one. I’m so grateful for my family that is covering the gap of an absent father.

      I agree with the Prenup as well, I had an ill fated marriage in my early twenties. While there were many issues one thing was his non-disclosure of financial obligations. A prenuptial agreement is a great and structured opportunity to get all finances on the table and is just as vital for those with nothing but debts as it is for those with huge assets.

  3. planedoc on July 16, 2018 at 12:29 pm

    Well stated.

    I would enjoy any thoughts you would share on some of us “older” men who have done well financially, and would like a relationship. It seems that it’s hard to find women who are financially responsible (not rich….just “responsible”) to partner with.

    Congrats to you and Mrs. Accountant for doing so well.

    • Keith Taxguy on July 16, 2018 at 12:42 pm

      Your issue isn’t new, planedoc. People irresponsible with money is so old the Bible is filled with financial advice. The ancients knew most people spend like drunk sailors. How I would approach the issue is to ferret out the mindset of a potential mate. Part of the dating process is explaining your financial habits. If your love interest doesn’t subscribe to a compatible financial mindset, move on. It’s not easy, but they do exist. Frugal women are looking for like-minded men and have the same complaint you have. Talk your frugal nature openly. The qualified women will naturally be drawn to you. Then you can talk more, deciding if this could evolve into something more or only a friendship.

  4. Queenie on July 16, 2018 at 5:57 pm

    First off I really enjoy your blog. I have read Jordan Peterson‘s book 12 rolls for life. I bought a copy for my brother who has never become an adult man even though he is 59 years old. For some reason my sister and I are responsible adults my brother is not. My parents did coddle him and bailed him out of many situations. My parents were Catholic my mother a convert. She was one of the early people to begin taking the birth control pill in the early 60s. As a teenager in the 70s she told me there was no reason for anyone to have an unplanned pregnancy in this day and age. All these young women who have children out of wedlock is Just astounding to me. I was a little hippy girl teenager in the 70s but did not believe in the free love stuff I could never understand those girls who got pregnant birth-control was readily available at the free clinic. Did not even ask for age verification. When I was 17 was on the verge having sex I went to the free clinic and got the birth-control. To me that is one of the biggest problems with our country is all these people that have no personal responsibility for all these poor children they create. My mother‘s father died when she was 15 years old. My grandmother had to start working as an LPN. She insisted that my mother and aunt to get careers so that they did not end up in the situation like she did a widow at a young age. My mother became a nurse my aunts a librarian. Again being a child of the 70s I was not a big fan of corporate life and refused to do anything to get along in that world. I did not get a career till I was 40. Going to school full-time with two teenagers because I decided that I wanted a divorce. My husband has started drinking and I wasn’t going to live the rest my life that way. He was always self-employed and by the time we get it got a divorce I could’ve been screwed over by him for alimony. Instead I gave him a paid for house without having to pay alimony and he cannot come after my retirement. I am age 62 now still working making good money and probably will not retire until 68 or 70 do to years of not working in my younger
    life. I am in a committed live in relationship but you can be sure as tooting That I will not be pulling the trigger on getting married again. Too much to lose. This may be a long and rambling but I am on auto dictation. Maybe some grammatical errors and wrong words ha ha. I really like Jordan Peterson for telling people to have responsibility, stand up straight. My daughter has chosen not to have children and she is a CPA , CFE VP of Finance. On one of the Jordan Peterson videos I saw he talks about how the people that rise to the top have to make great sacrifices. That is why there are so few women at the top. Most are not willing to sacrifice their families to do that. Anyway I have to get back to work. Thanks for all the great posts

  5. Female and Working on July 16, 2018 at 9:02 pm

    I understand what you’re saying, but I have a real difficulty in finding empathy for men. The deck has been so stacked against women, and remains that way today, that I’m just not ready to rush to men’s defense over the one or two short straws they may pick. I think it’s a considerable adjustment going from a paternal society to something different, and most people don’t like change – and therein lies much wailing and nashing of teeth. I will try to stretch myself to empathy, but the thought is not taking root tonight.

    Last week I was at a business dinner and had to sit through an extended discussion on Thai massage parlors. I might be a bit hard tonight.

    Also, you may want to check your medical risk on pregnancy. Although not at nineteenth century levels, fatalaties due to pregnancy / deliveries are rising in the US due to crumbling small town health support.

    • Keith Taxguy on July 16, 2018 at 9:36 pm

      You are right that maternal deaths are increasing from a record low historical level. There is no doubt women face risk when having children. The death rate of women giving birth has been lower than the annual rate of work-related deaths of farmers. (And farming is safer than it has ever been, too.) While the death rates of both groups move each year, a woman giving birth has the same approximate chance of dying as a farmer over the course of a year.

      You hit the nail square when you say the U.S. health care system is in disarray. I absolutely agree. Smaller communities have it even worse.

  6. Female at Work on July 16, 2018 at 9:08 pm

    Also – and sorry to comment twice – what % of your clientele are men vs women? Is it possible your opinions have been formed through a bias in the types of stories you hear? I understand the law might be skewed, but your indignation in the law could be driven partially by the bubble (no disparagement- we all move in bubbles, myself included) in which you move.

    • Keith Taxguy on July 16, 2018 at 9:48 pm

      Between 55 and 60 percent of my clients are female. My employees are all female at this time, though I’ve had male employees, some very long term ones.

      We all have biases and I’m not exempt. I’m a product of the world I live in. In your previous comment you mention men talking about massages. I can tell you as an employer of many women, the ladies can get verbally just as rough. (My office manager doesn’t realize when she cusses in Spanish I can understand it.) Some of the things they’ve said cannot be repeated and I never heard it come out of a man’s mouth. But I don’t consider female employees bad people. Actually, they are normal people like anyone else, regardless of gender. They say and do things I sometimes feel uncomfortable with. As long as it doesn’t cross the line of sexual harassment (a difficult task since everyone views SH at different levels) I walk the other way. I let people be people unless it causes harm. Women talking smack never hurt me so I only warn to keep it civil and not in front of clients to avoid offending and possibly losing a client.

      I try to avoid righteous indignation because it ranks right up there with conceit. It’s difficult determining the correct level to allow. If two employees are friends and talk privately about a deep personal matter as they do book work, who am I to judge? You have to do something while doing mind numbing tasks. Sometimes when I’m walking through I smile and say, “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.” I’d rather have a close team willing and able to engage in deep conversation without offense. When they do they are a formidable force.

  7. Mr VT on July 19, 2018 at 2:52 pm

    I’ve been noticing all the Jordan Peterson quotes. I was hoping you would write a whole post about him. I enjoy watching his videos and want to read the book soon. It seems like he has thought about a lot of issues and can discuss his views without being hateful of different viewpoints. Something we need a lot more of! I think prenuptials might signal a lack of commitment to your marriage. I come from the Amish/Mennonite culture and generally divorce is pretty much unheard of. I know there are some marriages in our culture that are far less then great but they stick it out because divorce isn’t an option. That might be a bad thing in some cases especially where one partner is abusive but for the most part it has been a positive thing . Having the mindset that marriage is for life will make you try a lot harder to make things work.

    • Keith Taxguy on July 19, 2018 at 3:36 pm

      VT, Jordan Peterson is a very intelligent man. I’m concerned if I do an entire post on him some people will focus on the controversial issues. But you never know. I’m impressed with his work and a full post would be fun to research and write.

  8. Random Dude on July 22, 2018 at 12:38 am

    Was in near continuous long term relationships with women for the first 25 years of my adulthood and have been single for the past 9. I haven’t dated nor had a single relationship with a woman in 9 years (not even one nighters). It took me a long time to figure out I was many times happier being single than in relationships. I’ve discovered that no one really ‘needs’ intimate touching and I’ve been perfectly fine living without it for nearly a decade. With a woman in my life I experience far more grief and regret and always end up with far more responsibility and accountability for women’s actions, feelings and preferences. The single life is a breeze in comparison to relationships. I’ve read the MGTOW mindset extensively and agree with them that modern intimate relationships just aren’t worth the trouble and expense. I personally intend to remain single for life. Had I learned these facts sooner, my life would have been far, far easier and I’d be much better off financially as well. That isn’t hate. That’s my personal cost-benefit analysis and a growing trend among men.

  9. K on August 29, 2018 at 10:39 am

    You’re right that we are in a weird point in history where everyone is trying to find their roles. Consider this anecdote: I’m a woman and the sole breadwinner, and hold all the wealth in our marriage. My husband does not work (aside from some homemaker tasks). I pay his child support payments. He bristles at that men are screwed over by the courts in these situations, and he’s not wrong… yet here I am paying.

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