In the United States we have a ritual we put people through age 50 and over. It starts slow and builds momentum. The first indication shows up in the mailbox offering loads of financial information and a FREE! meal. In no time our kind 50 year old has a mailbox full of invitations for free dinners. There are opportunities to screw the Social Security system, opt out taxes, earn huge yields on your investments, and the best ones scream THE SKY IS FALLING!!! and only they can save you.
The answer to each problem, of course, is to invest in what they are selling, usually annuities. Fuck’em! I call their bluff and sign up for every free dinner gracing my mailbox. By now I must be the most sought after seminar attendee on Earth. There is a name in the industry for people like me: plate lickers. I love it!
Mrs. Accountant and I rarely go out to eat, but when we do it is usually free. Restaurants I would never try now get scratched off my non-existent bucket list. All because I am a plate licker.
Now before you think ill of me, let me explain. My goal is never to harm the presenter. They offer the free meal and information; all I do is take them up on their offer. If they ever come up with a valuable product I am more than willing to pry open my wallet and blow out the cobwebs.
My dad was born the first year of the baby boom and I was born the last year of the boom. It’s an interesting fact that has nothing to with our story, but something I find interesting. The Baby Boom finally ended because guys discovered coitus interruptus. Child support attorneys have seen declining sales ever since. Back to our story.
As a Baby Boomer I get lots of invites. Tuesday night Mrs. Accountant and I attended one of these free meals/seminars. As always, the food was great. I had high hopes going into this one. The invite promised and 8% return investing in mortgages backed by assisted living homes. I understand the demographic and the profit potential so the idea intrigued me. The vast majority of my money is invested in Vanguard index funds. A few hundred thousand in my portfolio is looking for a home with a fixed rate worth accepting. Eight percent backed by local assisted living homes held promise.Continue reading