586746403_1280x719Goodwill Industries of North Central Wisconsin provides a multitude of services to the poor in my community. Everything from help with medical, job search services, to the iconic Goodwill thrift store are there to benefit the poor. Another program is the Financial Information and Service Center, otherwise known as FISC. FISC provides personalized counseling in financial matters: bankruptcy, student loans, budgeting, credit card debt, and delinquent taxes.

Every year FISC calls me in to speak to their group. Counselors from around Wisconsin come to hear my message. Sometimes it is an informal presentation more along the lines of an inquisition (Q&A session). Other times we fill a large room and food is catered. A few of the counselors are clients as a result.

The FISC counselors are not tax professionals or even trained in tax matters. For their worst cases they refer their client to my firm. And so it was this past week. A man in his mid 30s had serious tax problems. When no one else can help there is always me. I take a limited number of impossible cases each year. These people have limited funds for my services so I charge a very low fee or just do it pro bono.


Things have been busy around the Wealthy Accountant office with the blog stuff and all. Still, I took the appointment from this young man. He arrived on time (not always a sure thing in cases like this). He was polite and obviously poor. He was living in a homeless shelter. Wisconsin was riding his ass and was garnishing his meager wages. Then he mentioned he has a parole officer. I have to know my client so I ask the obvious question. It seems my new client committed a gruesome crime against a young girl.

He had one count of 1st Degree Sexual Assault and two counts of 2nd Degree Sexual Assault. In Wisconsin 1st Degree Sexual Assault involves sexual contact with a child under 13 years of age. What it looked like to me is he fucked a 12 year old girl and then continued after she turned 13. There were a few other charges to round out the destruction of his life. He explained the judge refused to listen to him; the girl was not that young. Okay, she was thirteen; so now you have three 2nd Degree Sexual Assault convictions. Good for you.




Passing Judgment

As heinous as his crimes were it didn’t bother me. I was hired to solve a problem and that is what I will do. As I mentioned earlier, I take some cases no one else will touch. Over the years I have represented embezzlers, murders, stalkers, pepping toms, and a variety of sex offenders. I also represented prison guards and sheriff’s deputies. Call me an equal opportunity guy.

I have no sympathy for this man’s plight and make zero excuses for him. He admitted to me he committed the crime. That is not what concerns me. What bothers me most is what led him to the place he is at. His tax problems are not that bad. I billed him a modest amount and my staff will make short work of his case. Then life will set in for this man.

There are a lot of things people will forgive you for. Sexual assault is a tough one. Fucking a twelve year old when you are in your mid-20s is even more difficult to look past. His life challenges have only begun.

I don’t know all the circumstances leading to opening of his mind to the possibility of harming a very young girl. I don’t care either. What I will do is speculate because it affects us all.

My guess is it started with pornography at an early age and that he viewed pornographic material daily. Mark Manson wrote an article outlining how pornography can ruin your sex life.  His research shows many men suffer sexual dysfunction from rampant viewing of pornography and compulsive masturbation. It does go hand in hand. (Yes, I am trying to be funny.)

Porn destroys intimacy and perceptions of beauty. It also distorts your worldview. Before long the addictive rewards of porn viewing eats away at relationships and time with friends and family. And then there is my new client. He raped a twelve year old girl and justified it. (It does not matter if she consented. At twelve you can’t give consent so it is rape. Period.) What he sacrificed to get his jollies or to fulfill his distorted worldview of a healthy sexual relationship will continue adding up over his lifetime. He will never get away from it. Ever!

prison-407714_960_720Manson encouraged his male readers to undertake a “no more porn” challenge. The rules were simple. No porn for 60 days. Most men starting the challenge finished successfully. You can read the results yourself, but I will include a few interesting facts here. The men reported some weird symptoms the first few weeks as they adjusted to the challenge. By the end of the 60 days most men reported improvements in their mental health, better relationships with family, friends, and significant other, and reduced need to masturbate.

Addiction

Addiction to porn is still being defined by the psychiatric profession. The boundaries of addiction are more difficult to see with porn. You can be addicted to sex, but at what level of activity does it become an addiction? Where is the line defining where control is lost?

Other reports show a direct link between viewing pornography and sexual performance issues. It also affects interpersonal relationships. Worst of all is how the brain begins to refuse to react to sexual stimulus. Sexual gratification with a significant other is no longer possible as the porn addiction has taken control.

Viewing porn affects the way you think, feel and interact with other people at work, home and at play. There is something called the Coolidge Effect. Without it internet porn would not exist. The Coolidge Effect works like this. Once a man is spent with a woman he is generally done. But if a new, novel female enters he is ready to go again. The same effect is seen in women too. This can continue until the man is exhausted to the point of collapse.

It all boils down to dopamine, a powerful neurotransmitter in the brain. Without dopamine we would not eat, have sex, watch porn, climax or do much of anything. Dopamine gives us desire. And nothing comes close to the amount of dopamine released as from sex, masturbation or viewing porn. Porn sends dopamine into overdrive. Each new image triggers the Coolidge Effect. But after a while it gets harder and harder becomes increasingly difficult to reach climax. The dopamine overload destroys the pleasure you were seeking. And that is where it bleeds into the rest of your life.

Patarei prison, Tallinn

Patarei prison, Tallinn

Financial Independence

What does all this talk have to do with personal finance, wealth or taxes? Remember my new client we opened this post with? He is not alone. I’ve seen a lot of stuff over the years. It is nigh impossible to live in our society today and not be exposed to pornography. Internet porn is considered protected free speech by many libraries. You can’t get away from it.

Before I stand too tall on my soap box I have a confession. I am far from innocent. Like the majority, I have seen internet porn. There was a time I actively looked for it. Curiosity and dopamine are to blame. Taking responsibility for my own actions is asking too much. I got lucky, however. Before I destroyed relationships and my finances I realized this wasn’t going to work for me. Mrs. Accountant is too important to me to throw away over smut. And I have junior accountants to think of too.

Porn statistics boggle the mind. Here are a few numbers to build perspective:

  • Men are 543% more likely to view porn than women.
  • 56% of divorces involved one party with obsessive porn viewing habits.
  • 64% of college men and 18% of college women spend time online each week for internet sex.
  • 9 out of 10 boys are exposed to pornography before age 18.
  • The average first exposure to pornography for men in 12 years old.
  • 6 out of 10 girls are exposed to pornography before age 18.
  • 1 of 5 mobile searches is for pornography.

And this will not harm your personal life? Marriages, relationships, and finances are all affected. The addictive nature of internet porn is too powerful to allow into your life and not expect consequences.

Building wealth and early retirement are all fairly easy to acquire. The debilitating effect of a dopamine high from porn stops these worthy goals in their path. I watched many good people, good clients over the years, sink into destructive behavior. It always ends the same: broken marriages, destroyed relationships with family and children, poverty, legal bills, disease, mental health issues, and lost jobs and businesses. I could easily fill 20 posts of clients I served over the years who succumbed to some form of sexual addiction. In most cases it involves mostly broken marriages/relationships. Sometimes disease destroys more. Sometimes the line is crossed into the criminal. Then twelve year old girls suffer.

Help is on the Way




Back when I was growing up (sounds like granddad talking) in the 70s, the only way a boy saw porn was if one of the boys found a Playboy in dad’s sock drawer and brought it to school. The exposure was limited and so was the damage. That world no longer exists. The internet is filled with porn. Even if you never intentionally search for porn you still get exposed. On this blog I use my own images and images from Creative Commons. Some of the most innocent searches periodically have a pornographic image tucked in with the rest. Google is good at knowing what you are searching for, but stuff gets through.

Your children live in this new world of easily available porn. A significant number of boys are viewing more porn by age 18 than you or I viewed in our entire life, combined. It is just too easy to get and kids are curious.

Divorce and broken relationships cost money. Viewing porn at work (I can’t believe people think they can do this and not get caught) will cost you your job. Guys, your lovely wife or girlfriend does not find your internet viewing habits endearing! And then there is the time wasted. How many books or blogs on personal finance did you miss reading because you were rubbing one out, as Bill Burr would say? How much love and intimacy have you missed due to porn? It is costing you much more than you can imagine.

Before you lose your marriage or job or freedom, stop. Stop the porn addiction. I sell dreams on this blog. Dreams of living a good life filled with fun and meaningful and fulfilling activities. I sell the dream of business ownership and lower taxes, the dream of financial independence in only a few short years, the dream of retirement at virtually any age. None of those dreams are possible if you call me as a referral from FISC. None of these dreams are possible if you spend 10 years in the slammer for fucking a child.

You owe it to yourself, to your children, parents, siblings, and significant other. There is help. You can call 1-888-997-3147 or read this website to start down the path to freedom. Financial freedom is not possible if you are buried in porn. The time wasted each day away from what is really important is costing you health and wealth. I do not want to hear about another twelve year old girl messed up from a old guy jumping her. I do not want to hear about another man’s life destroyed over porn. If I never get another referral from FISC with that kind of client again I would be happy.

Think about it. While you still have time.